


„Loneliness as the most beautiful, and the most two-faced woman.”

by CommandingOfficer



Category: Septiplier - Fandom, Youtube RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff, It might go with happy ending, M/M, Self-Harm, Weakness, home abuse, i dunno, i have no idea how to tag this, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-07-23 12:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7462908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommandingOfficer/pseuds/CommandingOfficer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope you'll enjoy this.<br/>These series are the first Septiplier ones, so please understand any mistakes here and there ;w;</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. The new guy

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you'll enjoy this.  
> These series are the first Septiplier ones, so please understand any mistakes here and there ;w;

Do you know how good it is to sadly enjoy solitude? It is a wonderful feeling. Loneliness is that kind of freedom, that only a few people could decide. These souls are not looking for understanding or applause. These souls choose to not harm anyone, and they’re just staying in their own madness.  
This is the type of lifestyle.

But, can you sadly enjoy something? Well, yes. You can be kinda sad, because, no one will greet you after a long day with a comforting smile and words: “I’m glad you’re here!”. But in this loneliness you could feel a little comfort and happiness.  
The happiness because in the worst times you cannot hurt you’re love.

Also there was a man, sadly enjoying himself who was drowning his sorrows in cigarettes and a glass of good whiskey. It was bar in America, but this dark-haired man wasn’t actually an American. He was an Irishman. He moved to this country because he badly needed to change his life. He needed something more. Something like love. Like living without depression.

The first feeling of being more than “just sad” filled him, when he was just 12. He lived in Ireland back then.  
His parents didn’t really care about him. His mother was disappearing at day, probably drinking, as Sean thought. Sean’s dad was always at work, but still his whole family was out of money. His dad didn’t pay attention to his son’s problems. Either because “he didn’t have enough time, to spend it with family” or “it was just in his son’s head”.

Sean, or “Jack” was caring of himself, all the time. He always preferred to be called “Jack”. His real name was always reminding him of ‘home’. This place of living hell. Sometimes his parents were just asleep, but in worst days they were bullying him. Beating him up, until he was black and blue. He still didn’t know how he just started to hate himself, and trying self-harming. But this loneliness was with him, when no one else was. Jack wasn’t serious about calling it “his friend” but he got used to this feeling.

Jack was kind of a short guy, with blue eyes and a beard with a mustache. He was wearing oversized hoodie with skinny jeans and a cap. He also loved his pretty but old shoes. Jack’s blue irises were blankly watching the rain that was trickling down the windows. What about he was wondering about?  
Well, no one knows.

“Rain in L.A. is not a common occurrence..” – Sean spoke to himself.

“Yeah, this is really weird, isn’t it, my friend?” – the low voice just sounded. Blue-eyed man turned his head to his right side, and saw a fluffy brown hair and a pair of chocolate eyes. – “Why are you drinking alone on night like this?” – the man spoke giggling.

“Excuse me?” – shorter and more drunk man looked awkwardly at the stranger. There was a short break before he spoke. – “Sorry man, I’m not interested if you’re selling anything or just want to have sex tonight with anyone.” – Jack said with a serious gaze.

“No. No, God, no.” – Stranger said awkwardly and in shaky voice. - “I’m just... I just want to... I dunno... Make some friends? Or whatever the hell it’s called. I know that maybe you’ll think that I am some kind of weirdo that is snatching strangers but… I’m kinda lonely. If you don’t want to talk I’ll understand. Just... I want to talk with someone. ” – he said with a cheerful smile. There was a silence between them until blue-eyed man nodded. – “I’m Mark.” – brown-haired spoke again. Jack just smiled and said:

“Jack.”

“Fine. Then… What are you doing here exactly?” – Mark smiled looking into his new friends eyes.

 

***  
As soon as sun was about to rise, they were just more and more drunk. They were telling each other terrible jokes, and laughing at them, as it was the funniest things that they could ever hear. 

“Did I take your number?” – brown-haired man asked – “I’m not sure about it.”

”I dunno man.” – Jack spoke looking for his phone. When he finally get it, he took it to his new friends hands. – “But I know that they’ll close this bar soon. We’re the last clients, and they can kick us out. We must to like... Go to our homes and just sober up.” 

Mark was quiet for few moments, looking at blue-eyed man. He didn’t want to give up on him. Brown-headed man kinda liked him. And that’s why he tried to make a conversation again. 

“We’ll see each other here soon? Maybe next week?” – He asked quietly. There was a long gap of silence. Jack’s eyes were widely looking for something to hung on his gaze, but it was incredibly hard. There were another a few minutes of silence, when he finally spoke:

_“Why not.”_

As is stopped raining the two of them were leaving the bar. When they began to move in the opposite direction Mark just spoke;  
“I’ll wait for your call. Cya!”

Jack just smiled and began to return home, just thinking about this guy. He wasn’t that bad.  
It was a crazy day. But how nice it was.  
After a few days he got a message from _him;_

“Would it be a problem, if we’ll see each other sooner, than we planned?”

And then Jack felt like his heart was skipping a beat.


	2. The meaning of being

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. This is the second chapter... I hope you guys are excited as I am about this whole thing going on. Enjoy!

Scream.

A loud scream.

Jack just found himself sitting on his bed as he was blindly looking in chaos over his dark room. 

_“Another nightmare”_ – he thought hiding his face into his own hands. He didn’t know if it was really late, or really, really early. Sean looked over the clock. It was 3:42 A.M. 

_“I’m not gonna sleep soon anyway..”_ – another thought that he spoke to himself. Then he just got up, took his hoodie and sit on pretty big windowsill taking out pack of cigarettes. He didn’t really liked to smoke, but one cigarette of a month will not make any difference.  
He took one and just light out. As the smoke leaved his lungs, he leaned his head by white wall.

What he was even dreaming about? Hm… Oh, yeah, _his parents._  
It’s not that he didn’t loved them. Well… At least he **tried.** But it was really hard thing.  
He needed his father mostly, but after all he always got ignored. And mother? Well.. She was specific. Sometimes she was smiling, saying that everything will be ok and sometimes she was really mean, and full of rage or anger.  
Sean remember the moment when she found his towel fully covered with dry blood. She didn't even ask what happened, she just beated the shit out of him. Cause "he doesn't respect what he can get".

Jack remember that after that he hated and hurted himself even more.

Because he doesn't deserve to be _alive._

Jack’s bedroom was pretty small. Then – it was cold, dark, with many posters and drawing on the walls. He liked to draw, when he was young.  
As older he was that he more hated his art. Maybe he’ll do this again someday…?

But now, as he was sitting on a windowsill, smoking – he just felt numb. He could hear the voices in his memories screaming out, how huge disappointment he is.  
He stared blankly at his wirsts slowly taking off his brancelets. The was A LOT of them. But after he did that, he could saw only huge scars. The scars that reminded him of _not being strong **enough** to being a human._ To show emotions. To frickin’ kill himself! 

He took out the razor bade that he always hides in package of cigarettes.

And he remembered his mother that one day, in the moment when she just found his towel.  
She was standing in his room, with a death stare, so angry at him.

_"I hate you"_

_"You are such a fucking dissapointment in my life"_

_"You are not good enough"_

_"That's why I’m gonna leave you"_

_"I will never **LOVE** you"_

And with that memory he took the blade to his skin, and cutted deep long and painfull lines. 

__And after that, all he could remember were tears, trying to stop blooding out with his old towel, and staring in space while the backward thought screamed, that _he need sleep.__ _

__This is how most of his evenings were ending.  
_Hopefully **this guy** will finally take care of him._  
As someone should. 

__***  
In the morning Sean took his phone and looked over the last conversation with _Mark.__ _

______**Mr. Handsome** 6:42 A.M.:

> Hey! Are you awake?  
>  It’s beautiful day outside. Would you like to have a walk with me? Xoxo

__It was really funny, because Mark is the only person he knew that always at the end of a first message leaves kisses and hugs.  
It was adorable._ _

______**Jackaboy** 6:45 A.M.:

> You doof! Why are YOU awake?! You need some sleep, man!  
>  And yes. I have day off. I can waste with you some time.  
> 

**Mr. Handsome** 6:47 A.M.: 

> Great. Hazard Park, at 8.  
>  I’m so happy that we finally have an opportunity to meet.  
>  See ya there, buddy!

__And Jack could feel that his heart was skipping a beat.  
He was preparing as quick as possible, like never before._ _

___“ _So_ **this** is how happiness feels like?_ ” – he smiled to himself  
***  
Even if it was a pretty warm day, Jack didn’t really care about that. He hurt himself, and he didn’t want to look weak. 

___Because men should be strong._  
They don’t cry.  
They don’t feel pain.  
But well, Sean does. 

___So he was wearing an oversized hoodie with long sleeves and jeans. When he finally get into place he looked over Mark, but it was practically impossible._  
When the weather is _that_ beautiful, everybody wanna go outside and play. That’s why Jack liked to stay home and play video games. For him, that was a better option.  
Then he saw hair dyed bright-red, big smile and these brown eyes that he met 2 months ago. Actually they have been meeting particularly every week at least thrice. Why would he do that? He bet with someone? This colour really suits him but.. Why? 

__“What did you do?” – Jack asked kinda laughing._ _

__“I just wanted to be pretty for you” - Mark giggled jokily, making one of his stupid faces and going through the park._ _

__Sean just smiled as he felt, that he was blushing. For just a stupid joke.  
_Great.__ _

__Mark just didn’t notice that little thing and began to spoke._ _

__“I hope that's not a problem for you, that I brought you here. I mean this park really means a lot to me.” – he smiled._ _

__“Why?” – Jack asked curious, and still having tomato-red cheeks._ _

__Red-haired man stopped and looked sadly into these blue eyes._ _

__“Come. Not here. I’m gonna tell you in one of _ **ours**_ bars.” – he said and took one of Jacks hands and leaded him to the little old-fashioned restaurant that was pretty near._ _

___Sean didn’t ask about anything. He thought that Mark is going to tell him when he’ll be ready. But one thought was still bothering him._  
What is ‘ours’? Who are ‘they’?  
Maybe it’s about his ex, or.. Maybe about his friend..?  
Anyway he looked up at the menu card. There was a lot of food that people would see in a menu like 100 years ago. That was pretty awesome.  
There was also one card with an alcohol drinks. 

__“Hey Mark, would you like to—“_ _

__“I was walking in this park with my dad before he died.” – brown-eyed man spoke before even Jack could end the sentence. Then Mark put down his menu slightly smiling and looking into younger man’s eyes. – “I've dyed my hair because that was his favourite colour, and actually today is the first anniversary since he died. It’s stupid, but he always believed in me so I thought that maybe today, where he is, he’ll see that I’m still missing him. That I still love him.” – he smiled again, trying to not became a total crying and sobbing mess._ _

__“I’m sorry, I’m just… Oh God, I don’t wanna be a douche right now! I’m so sorry, I didn’t know and..” – Jack said quickly, trying to explain himself._ _

__“You are THE ONLY PERSON that I’ve ever told this.”_ _

__“Why? Why me?”_ _

__“Because you mean so much to me.” – The older man said passing a few tears. – “And I really don’t want to lose you in any way.”  
And this sentence broke Jack a little inside._ _

__He quickly changed his seat and sit with Mark_ _

__Hugging him and trying to make him feel better for any cause._ _

__Because Mark was the most important person on the entire planet._ _

__And this is how Jack was feeling for him._ _

__But then he’s didn’t want to talk about his feelings._ _

__Then he was going to spend a long night with Mark._ _

__And he was going to take care of him._ _

__Because of one feeling that he was afraid of._ _

____**Love.**_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, thanks for reading, if there is anything that you would like to know, or if there are any mistakes in my writing, please let me know.  
> And if you enjoyed, please, leave kudos. It really means a lot to me.


	3. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's the piece of this history. I still hope you'll enjoy this. ;w;

“Are you sure you don’t want a glass of water?” – Jack spoke to red-haired man. Mark just let out a small “No” and cuddled to him even more closer.  
They were laying on the couch in Jack’s house, because it was pretty nearby. Plus, of course, he wouldn’t let Mark look over his old photos with his dad. It would be terrible.

“You sure? You still need to be hydrated.” – pale male asked again. He was so worried about his best friend’s mental health. If he could, he would take all the pain that Mark has. Because he deserves to be a burden. Some garbage that everyone can beat up. Without any permission Sean moved into the kitchen and poured some water into one of his mugs. Before he even could move, he felt a warm body that hugged him from behind. It felt really, really nice. He could just kiss this fluffy-haired man right there and right now.

_“But what if he will think that you are a creep?”_   
_“But what if he will feel disgusted by you?”_

That’s why Jack kept his fantasies at bay.

“Thank you for everything” – Mark sadly smiled drinking water that Jack gave him.  
“It’s fine. Could you.. You know you can actually tell me what’s bothering you, right? I'm not gonna laugh at you, or anything.” – Jack couldn’t help but smile. He was sure that Mark knows about it, but he just like to accentuate that.  
“Yeah… Can we talk about this tomorrow? I mean, I’m exhausted.” – and he really looked like he was.

Dark circles under his eyes and puffy eyelids made a really serious dead-look in his eyes. He had somewhat oily hair that was swept-back now. His hoodie looked now so stretchy and oversized. After 2 or 3 hours of crying he wouldn’t look any better, but it’s still scary how he looked like.  
Jack just nodded, and leaded them straight to the couch, covering them up with some old-fashioned blanket.  
They were just going to comfort themselves until they will fall asleep.  
But before that Mark spoke quietly: 

“I’m so glad that I have someone like you”

*** 

There was a sunshine outside.  
And then the first thought was; _“Cold”_  
Jack noticed blanket on the floor and red-fluffy “pillow” on his stomach. As he didn’t want to wake this fluff up, he just stared at ceiling. And he was thinking about past. And how he could find happiness.   
_“ **Could** – yeah… That’s a great word”_ – he thought. 

_“Great FREAK. You’re thinking again about yourself even when your friend obviously NEEDS YOU. WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?”_  
And that “fact” almost made him cry.

Almost

After a few of similar thoughts he felt Mark shiver and then a pair of brown eyes was looking at him.  
He was absolutely melting right now under his gaze.

“Would you like to eat breakfast with me?” – Jack proposed with a little smile on his face, but also with broken heart inside. There was a little bit of silence, then Mark slowly nodded.   
Both men got up, making usual things that they were doing alone. But there was this little different thing. The thing that enchanted this whole moment.   
_They were not alone in this moment._  
The breakfast was simple. Just some eggs and bacon. Morning was pretty good for both of them. Jack wasn’t that worried at all, and also Mark was joking, like nothing really happened. Like they were living like this for a very long time. But when they ate, Jack gone to wash some dishes. And then Mark decided to move around Jack’s house.  
The whole house was “pretty awesome” as red-haired thought. There were paintings, gifts, cigarettes… But the only thing that was missing were the photos.  
For Mark it was pretty weird that Jack didn’t have some pictures of his family, or – at least – friends that could support Sean. And then well-tanned man saw the engraving on one of the doors – “Jack’s”

_“So… Obviously this is his room”_ – he thought to himself. There was a second of hesitation, but he decided to press the door handle. – _“Damn… Locked.. Jack must have the key somewhere near him.. But if he doesn’t want to – I’m not going to look what’s in his room”_ – he decided.  
Mark ended up watching the house and came back to the living room right when Jack ended up cleaning the dishes.

“Some coffee?” – Mark suggested leisurely.

“Yeah... If you could...” – Jack smiled. Mark didn’t know if that smile was sincere, or if Jack is that good at pretending to be happy. But he also smiled back with little chuckle. 

Red-haired took the almost empty coffee jar out of the cupboard, and made two hot drinks. Meanwhile Jack’s mind was absolutely out of this room. His own thoughts were consuming him. Only when Mark sat down nearby – it got him out of his analyzations.   
There was a bit of silence between two men, and then (for Jack’s Irish luck), Mark finally spoke:

“I.. I would like to talk with you.. Y’know.. About all of this…” – he accent the last word.

“Okay. So.. I’m listening.”

“Well.. If you have time... then – Well... Let’s start from the beginning.” – brown-eyed said, slightly smiling.

And then they talked for hours, even though Mark was trying to say everything in a very short time. He was talking about his family, how he tried to be an engineer, how his dad passed away… And that is when the dark side of the story came. He was losing sleep, crying every time he thought about the funeral, and all of the things that reminded him of his father. He showed a few scars that he made because of it. He wanted Sean to know, because he wanted to feel fully comfortable with his best friend. Mark cried over telling his story. He felt exhausted because of telling it but there was a difference – he felt much better with his mental state.  
Jack just held him as long as he could. He was hugging him until Mark finally spoke:

“That’s all about me I guess. There's nothing really in it, and probably I sounded like a silly teenager.. But enough about me. Can I know… Can I know something about you?”

And then Jack’s mind just flipped. He couldn’t tell Mark how horrible his life was, because he could feel less important. It’s not about him. It’s all about his _best friend._ So, as Sean decided, he told him a wonderful lie. He was just lying into his big brown sweet eyes.   
Maybe it’s not that word. He was not lying.

_**He just wasn’t telling all the truth.** _

He told him, that he was sincerely loved by his father. In fact – maybe he loved him, when he wasn’t at home, or when his father wasn’t really drunk or having a hangover. Which actually happened maybe twice.  
He told him about his caring mother. But she didn’t cared about him, only herself.  
He told him about his wonderful childhood. In fact, there were some wonderful times, when no one actually beated him up for no reason.  
And Mark was smiling, because he also had the best memories from childhood. Mark told Sean a few stories of his childhood, and they were both giggling. Jack was happy that he didn’t worry Mark about the abomination that he was.

They were hugging until Jack thought about something “genius” .

“Maybe you can stay in my house for a few days? You know, just for some recovery” – he smiled.

“I would be honored, Mr. McLoughlin” – Mark smirked.

Jack just playfully punched him in arm, and then showed some parts of the house that Mark will need the most. Mark just smiled, and Jack brought some clothes and things that he will need for those few days.  
He thought that it will be one of the best nights in his life.  
 _ **Oh, how wrong he was.**_  
Red-haired woke up about 4 AM. He heard some strange noises, so he wanted to make sure that some burglar wasn’t going around the house. Mark went through the living room, and the only thing he noticed was Jack’s blanket, a hoodie and a few bracelets on the floor.

_“Strange. He never told me that he was wearing some stuff like that”_ – he thought.

When the older man checked if everything is okay, he went to the bathroom to take a quick pee. You know. Not a big deal.  
But when he stepped into the bathroom he noticed some opened box of razor-blades with a lot of blood all around them. 

_“I--… It’s probably when he was trying to shave his beard… But no.. Then this blood wouldn’t be here.. What if he— …”_

Mark felt like his heart took a quicker beating, and his mind screamed.

He immediately ran to the Jack’s bedroom. He quietly opened the door and froze in place right when he was about to go in.  
There was Jack, sitting on a windowsill sobbing, with a cigarette in his lips, trying to cover his large scars under bracelets, and another long-sleeved hoodie. When he rolled-up his sleeve to change the bandage, Mark saw how much self-harm Jack had. When the brown-haired man tried to throw away used bandage, he noticed his best friend with crying eyes, as he softly whispered:

_“S…Sean—“_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. That was it! Things are going so soooo deep man. I don't know when the 4th chapter will be available, but I have an idea for it and I think it will turn out pretty well.  
> It there are any mistakes, or you want to know more let me know. And of course I would like to hear what do you think about these series. It really means to me a lot. Thank you, and have a nice day.


	4. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being so late.  
> I hope you enjoy it anyway.  
> Please tell me, if there are some little grammar mistakes. It's late, and I really have to know.  
> Thank you ^^

A soft sounds of blood dripping down from Sean's arm.  
This long staring.  
And Mark's lips softly whispering questions.  
_A lot of them_  
Then a madness that took control over younger man's body.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?" - red-haired man screamed pretty upset about this situation.

"THAT'S WHY" - screamed the younger one - "I didn't want to fucking worry you about myself!"

And again long silence. Both of them staring at each other. One of them - upset and angry. The second one - scared, anxious and depressed. But they shared only one emotion in that exact moment.  
_**Sadness**_

"Get out."

"S-Sean, this is sick.. Do you want to--"

"GET OUT. I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE LIKE IT. GET OUT. DON'T TALK TO ME. LEAVE ME FUCKING ALONE" - Jack exploded in that moment. So many emotions melted with each other, trying to make more sense on the outside. But they didn't.  
Mark was trying to say something, but as Sean got more angry, his own anger was taking control over him. He whispered underneath breath simple words that he really didn't mean to.

_**"You are sick"** _

After the thunderstorm - there is always the calm. The same at this thing.  
Sean stared blankly as his door were quickly and angrily shut. He sobbed slightly, got close and locked them up. Just in case.  
He heard as Mark was leaving the house. But he didn't mind. If he coud - he would do that to himself.  
As the young man again sat again at the windowsill, he was looking over the cigarette that he smoked. As he found this extinguished cigarette, he throw it out, and took another one. This time with a little piece of metal that he was always hiding in there.  
And his mid was screaming; _"You're going to pay for the pain, that you caused to them"_  
***  
_"It's raining again.."_ \- Sean thought as he was going to his job. He couldn't just quit it. Someone needs to pay the bills, buy some food, new clothing.. And art supplies. Yes. Sean got back to drawing stuff. It wasn't really something big, and he didn't enjoy it as much as he was younger, but he needed a distraction. Plus, it was a good time killer. He was working still in a hotel management stuff, but he didn't enjoy it as well.  
But the plus of it was, that he needed to wear long sleeved shirt, so he didn't need to explain everything to his boss. Even if that was a love-caring lady, that he also could call a ‘close friend’.  
Days passed, and this was more and more exhausting. For both of the men. Sean didn’t want to be someone, that everyone would care about. Even more. He liked being invisible. He thought that as less people will notice him, then less people would feel sorry for his family, when he finally will kill himself.  
Jack didn’t notice this shy smiles, waving hands, and this approbations that his boss and friends were making. Or he didn’t want to notice them.  
One day Jack’s boss had enough of this thing.  
“Jack, take a seat. We need to talk.” – She said, slightly smiling. This was a young woman, nearby Jack’s age. Also, this was the reason, why she called him like that. Woman doesn’t look like someone with such a responsible job, but – in the other hand – she still looked neatly.  
Sean thought, that this was some sort of bullet, and without his job he might just fall into madness.  
“Okay. So, before you say anything, I know that this man at the second floor wanted some extra clothes, but hotel can’t do that shit to guests! I _nicely_ told him that, and he just wrote complaint to you! I know, I could just buy him some, because he gave me some extra tips, but come on, I didn’t know what he would—“  
“Jack, I’m sending you on some kind of.. Forced vacation. For a month. I’m going to pay for this, but I think it’s worth it.” – Mary said still smiling. Jack stopped in his actions, looking at the other. He finally sat in big armchair wringing hands, hiding his face in them.  
“What are you talking about? I’m trying my best!” Male said feeling how tears were building up  
“I know. And you’re probably tired. So.. Hm.. Just, for God’s sake, I see that something is up! Jack I’m not blind, you’ve changed! Something happened and you need to take some time. You have a month, okay? I’ll come to you when I could, okay?”  
Jack just nodded. There was a long silence between them, until a young man said “I’ll take what I need” and escaped the office, then the building, and gone straight home ignoring calls and messages from his friend.  
He had a month.  
_Month of nothing._  
He couldn’t really draw all day, because he couldn’t see that much already. Computer screen, always staying up late with some films or drawings made some damage to him. Actually work was the one thing that had some sense to Irishman. You go to work; you make other people happy, and people pay you, because that they’re thankful. Sean liked to make people happy. Don’t get me wrong, he just thought that no one deserves to feel like him.  
***  
After two weeks Jack slowly sat at the desk. He decided. This is going to be his last day.  
He took out a piece of paper and began to write  
_To the people that knew me,_  
To my mom, dad, and brothers - I shouldn't even bother you, because now I live in America. But I didn't call since Friday night, so I think I should leave something.  
Please, don't think that it's your fault. It's my own independent decision, and I want you to know that I wasn't in pain, while I was dying. Please, take care of each other, even if I'm not there with you.  
To my boss, and 'friends' from my work.  
First and foremost...  
Marie - I'm sorry that I didn't recover from this state. I can't help it anymore. It's better this way.  
My dear mates - I know, there's not much I can say. I was tryingto not be a burden to any of you. I have no idea how it worked out but... I hope every each and one of you are happy. This is what I would really like.  
To my dearest person that I might knew for not really long... The person that meant everything to me.  
**Mark Edward Fishbach**  
I can't really say how many feelings I have for you. How many good things we did together.  
I can't say how much I love you.  
And I never will. I wanted you to know that you're the best what happened in my life. Please be happy. With this letter, I want to tell you, that you have all my paintings. Do what you want with them. I guess, you'll be less sad.. Because it's still the piece of me.  
Or you wouldn't care, because you probably have some lovely woman by your side. I mean, I wish you have..  
Anyways...  
With all of that, I am sitting in my room and asking myself;  
Maybe suicide is the answer..?  
Goodbye.  
Yours, Sean.   
With the end of the letter, Jack started to cry. He left the paper on the kitchen table, and took the alcohol and the pills and sat on his bed, taking a few sips of alcohol.  
He wanted to be drunk. He'll feel less pain by that.  
As he opened the pills, and was about to take them, his phone rang.  
He didn't even looked at it and picked up right away.  
Blue-eyed heard the baritone of the man that he dearly adored. The voice sadly and slowly asked;  
_"Jack, hello?"_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! And uh, it there is any grammar or word mistakes, let me please know.  
> I would also love to know what do you think. Hope you enjoyed anyway.


End file.
